Mediate vs Litigate.


 Six Similar Goals:  These are common goals whether you are mediating or litigating your divorce.

  1. Distribution of Property (Assets and Liabilities) (Marital and Non-Marital)
  2. Child Custody and Parenting Time (Commonly referred to as a Parenting Plan)
  3. Child Support and Spousal Maintenance
  4. Distribution of Retirement Assets
  5. Resolve Income Tax and Health Insurance Issues.
  6. Put the agreement in writing and sign it.

The Differences



  • In mediation, couples work together with a mediator to work out an agreement on the above 5 basic issues.
  • Mediation takes several months while litigation often can take several years.
  • Mediation costs typically are a few thousands of dollars while litigation costs are several of ten thousands of dollars.
  • In mediation, spouses are in control of their own future and their children’s future, rather than Courts, Judges, and Attorneys.
  • Mediation provides an effective way for couples to work together with the help of a neutral professional to resolve their differences in an amicable and cost-effective way.
  • Mediation is flexible, confidential, can be informal and is less stressful.
  • A divorce mediator is neutral and doesn’t “work” just for one spouse or the other.
  • Mediation is more cost-effective.  “In 2005, the average mediated case cost $3000 and was settled in 90 days. In turn, the average litigated case in the courts cost $15,000 and took 18 months to settle.”

Mediator’s Job:

  • Keeping the discussion going focusing on resolving core issues.
  • Maintaining a positive and productive atmosphere to help the couple resolve their disagreements and reach a solution.
  • Providing professional and technical insight about the process, its goals, and alternative ways to settle the complicated issues the couple is faced with.  Often this is done by brainstorming with the mediator quickly providing alternatives that the couple may have not even considered.
  • When divorcing couples get off track and away from the above issues during mediation, arguing, name-calling and bad prior memories are brought up and the mediator helps to avoid this.
  • Mediators put the couple’s agreement into a writing that the couple will ultimately sign.  This is commonly referred to as a property settlement and separation agreement with or without a parenting plan.  This agreement will be the basis of how the couple will live in the future, separated from one another.

Mediators Cannot:

  • A mediator cannot and does not  “work” for one party or the other.
  • Mediators do not file lawsuits in court.  Although mediators may be attorney’s, if they act as a mediator for both couples, they need to avoid any idea that they are “really only representing one party or the other.”

At BuffalyNYDivorceMediation the first consultation is free. If you would like to schedule an appointment with us please click (Schedule Mediation).  This can be done in our office or virtually using our remote online video conferencing solution that is simple to use.

Buffalo New York Divorce Mediation
3819 South Park Avenue.
Blasdell, New York 14219
1-716-404-4140 option #2 (Phone)
1-888-256-4140 option #2 (Toll-Free)
1-716-402-1918 (Fax)

Virtual Divorce Mediation

Virtual Divorce Mediation Solution

Divorce is difficult.  Don’t make it more difficult than it already is.  Using everyday technology will make your divorce less difficult and it does not have to involve you spending tens of thousands of dollars.

If you and you have decided that divorce is the only solution, please consider using our Virtual Divorce Mediation Solution or our Traditional Office Based Mediation.  I am confident that it will meet your needs because:

  • It fits your time and your schedule, not that of others.
  • You can meet with me from anywhere – Home, Office, Your Car …. anywhere there is a phone or internet access or both.
  • It even works when it is impossible for couples to be in the same room as each other.
  • You will receive clear simple directions along the way of how to participate in our Virtual Mediation.

Considering using our Virtual Mediation Solution requires you to think of divorce in a different way.  It is a process that you can work through in a thoughtful way, using easily accessible technology, that will help make the process less stressful on you.

Those that benefit from Virtual Divorce Mediation are:

  • Professional with limited time-  There is no need for you to schedule trips and travel to your attorney’s office, the court or even to the mediator.  Since your not wasting time on unnecessary travel and appointments the divorce process timeline will move much quicker.
  • Busy Parents-  Parents typically run non stop attending to work and the needs of their children.  Virtual Divorce Mediation will help you fit the mediation process in your busy schedule.
  • Those in high conflict relationships-  Virtual Mediation can keep you and your spouse apart and you can have resolution with much less conflict.
  • Those in Different Locations-  If you or your spouses have moved to different towns or even different states, Virtual Mediation will save you time and money in contrast to using a traditional local mediator.

If you would like more information how the Virtual Divorce Mediation process works please contact us.  Thank you.  John.

Buffalo New York Divorce Mediation
3819 South Park Avenue.
Blasdell, New York 14219
1-716-404-4140 option #2 (Phone)
1-888-256-4140 option #2 (Toll-Free)
1-716-402-1918 (Fax)


Online Scheduling.

Schedule a Free Mediation Consultation.

Buffalo New York Divorce Mediation

3819 South Park Avenue.
Blasdell, New York 14219
1-716-404-4140 option #2 (Phone)
1-888-256-4140 option #2 (Toll-Free)
1-716-402-1918 (Fax)